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Signs That You're Not Ready to Date

Updated: Nov 13, 2021

A new relationship can take a toll on your body, mind, and your marriage or existing relationship. It's important for all involved that you evaluate your readiness and assess your ability to jump into the dating world. Knowing yourself and facing certain truths will help you determine if you are ready or not.

Consider these signs that you're not ready to form a new romantic relationship just yet. You may not be ready to date if:

You've dated before and you're not over your ex.

Do you still dwell on your past relationship and can't stop thinking about your ex? If your mind is preoccupied with thoughts about your previous partner, then you're not ready to date. The inability to concentrate on a new person can negatively affect your budding relationship and put and end to it before it even starts. You might miss out on a really great person because you find yourself constantly comparing your new date to an ex. This will undoubtedly interfering with your possible happiness causing you to send out vibes that send your potential partner running. People can generally sense when you're connected and when you're not. And ain't nobody got time for that.

What's more, the emotional baggage of your past relationships can hurt your dating style. It can prevent you from noticing the positive aspects of a new partner and worse, it can even make you seem dull and sullen on dates. There's nothing sexy about a Debbie Downer.

Carefully evaluate your emotional availability and make sure you've completely moved on from your ex before you jump back into dating again.

You can't share.

Do you struggle with the idea of either physical or emotional sharing? If so, dating may be more difficult for you. Chances are, your new girlfriend may have an existing partner just like you do - a partner to whom she will have to give priority over you at times. If you feel uncomfortable with this idea, you may want to consider putting dating on the back burner.

Too, bringing the suggesting of dating women alongside your marriage can come with the consequence of your husband or partner wanting the same privileges. Whether it's fair or not for such conditions to be made is a highly debatable topic. What's right for your marriage or relationship may not be right for another. However, if you and your partner cannot agree, dating may need to be revisited once you have both gained comfort and clarity.

You are keeping it a secret from your partner.

It's normal to have a few secrets in any relationship. However, this is a big one - another topic that is hotly debated amongst the bisexual married community. Some women feel that keeping it a secret would be less damaging in the long run. If this is you, there are a few things that you may want to consider before taking the plunge into the dating world, but one of the biggest is - are you prepared for the consequences that may follow if your partner happens to find out that you're on a dating site or...that you've been having an affair? If the answer to that is no, then you may not be ready to date.

You are keeping your marriage a secret from your date.

Similarly, keeping your existing relationship (or the fact that you have a family!) a secret from your potential date can end in disaster if they come to know the truth. Not to mention, if they are unaware of your responsibilities, they may take your inability to communicate with them at certain times, or interact with them a certain way (taking phone calls or facetime) as a sign of disinterest if not infidelity.

You have insecurities interacting with the same sex.

The dating world can be an apathetic place and women in the dating world are no different. There is always the possibility of feeling rejected and having to deal with those feelings while staying present in your marriage or relationship may be a difficult thing to manage even for the toughest of us. Any negative experiences you have could spill over into your home life. Before you make your grand entrance in the dating world, make sure that you can draw a line between the two so that your Negative Nancy doesn't keep you from enjoying a healthy, loving relationship with your partner.

You're experiencing difficulties in your marriage or relationship.

Sometimes the idea of finding another person that you can share intimate moments in life with seem like the perfect way to find happiness within a relationship that is in a state of less than ideal. The truth is, these escapist fantasies are not likely to improve your relationship with your partner and may actually serve to hurt the partner that you're pursuing. If you are experiencing serious issues with your partner, it may be a good idea to put dating on hold until you can clearly determine what your relationship status is and how a new person can fit into your life.

Keep in mind that not being ready to date is not a failure by any means. In fact, taking the time to face your potential pitfalls head on will make you more dateable and will improve your dating experience.

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