Crucial Tips for Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship
If you're a married (or otherwise attached) bisexual woman in the unfortunate position of having to maintain a long-distance relationship with your girlfriend, then it's probably already taken quite a toll on you both and is a constant test of how much you really want to be with each other.
Being in a long-distance relationship is hard and it certainly requires a lot of resolve, but it's also key to remember that you already have something great going for you: the very fact that you're trying shows that you must care a lot, and this means it's very likely to all be worth it when you are able to meet in person.
While maintaining an additional relationship over a long distance alongside your marriage/long term relationship and any other responsibilities you might have does take some extra work, there are a few things you can do that will certainly make it easier.
Maintain Constant Contact
Maintaining frequent contact is the single most important thing to do to ensure your relationship lasts across the distance. If you're in a relationship, it only makes sense to be talking to them in some way, shape, or form on most days. Some days can find you exhausted with your primary priority being to your spouse or family, not to mention if you have any school or work demands.
Under ordinary circumstances, this might mean that you choose to call each other for half an hour before bed every night, or it might mean that you chat on Skype every other day and text a lot in-between.
Such constant contact will ensure you both know what's going on in each other's lives and help you feel close. When you talk, you won’t feel the need to catch up. You'll be able to talk candidly about whatever’s on your mind.
Sometimes you may not be able to have routine calls because life has a habit of getting in the way. Even if you can't have detailed conversations, even small bits of communication can go a long way. A simple text to say you're busy but thinking about them lets them know that even across the miles, you’re still be a big part of each other's lives.
Make Room
Even if you do have to take a rain check on that before-bed phone call, one positive effect it could have would be helping to ensure that neither of you feels smothered by the other one, giving you both room to manage the other priorities in your life.
Even so, it’s important to make an effort to commit to the call as often as you can. Otherwise, it can be easy to find yourself growing more distant or possibly risking the other person thinking you're not as interested as you are.
Recognize that you may have to move some things aside in order to make way for an additional relationship. Any relationship you have will take up some of your time, whether it's long distance or not.
Be Fun and Spontaneous
Just because you're not near each other doesn't mean you can't do fun and memorable things. You just have to be more creative.
Perhaps you could have a romantic date night through Skype where you each get dressed up and cook the same meal to enjoy with each other. Maybe you could watch a film at the same time or meet in virtual reality. Or, in lieu of making a surprise visit, you could send a surprise gift.
Whatever you decide to do together, the important thing is that you do something. Make memories and keep things exciting, so you grow together.
And when you do get the chance to visit in person…make sure you go!
Be Realistic
Remember that every time you meet your partner in a long-distance relationship, you’ll most likely treat the occasion as special and make more of an effort to do nice things. Keep in mind that this isn't what a relationship is like all the time and things will normalize over time.
Sometimes it's important to try and experience a bit of that 'normality' together. When you get the chance to connect in person, try spending time together doing nothing special, but doing it together.
A long-distance relationship can survive and even thrive. Take the time you need for each other and work in characteristics of the relationship you would have if you were closer to each other’s location. You might not be closer in miles, but you’ll be closer in your hearts.